We all know those now days the children obesity is a challenging topic in the competitive world. More of the metros cities in India have changed; they have started to follow the western culture. In Delhi along more than 20% of the school children aged 10 to 16 are overweight. Obesity is on the rise among the children in various states. Rapid urbanization, unhealthy food chooses and a decrease in physical activity is the causes. Television viewing and eating fried foods are directly linked to obesity in children. All these factors are the main reason for the obesity in children. Here are a few steps to follow. Children should eat only healthy foods. Mothers should avoid the masala items in their cooking. At least once in a week they can use it. Children should avoid eating fried foods, such as fried rice and also the main reason for the obesity is the junk food. They should do a lot of physical exercise. Nowadays they don’t go out and play. They should run, jump and play it is this time that the children can play. So children should try to follow these tips for a healthy life.
One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story.
Little Suzy raises her hand. "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."
When the teacher asked for the moral of the story, Suzy replied, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."
Little Lucy went next. "My dad owns a farm too. Every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only eight of the 12 eggs hatched.";
Again, the teacher asked for the moral of the story.
Lucy replied, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch."
Next up was little Johnny. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war, and his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed but could only take a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down, he drank the case of beer. Then he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but then he ran out of bullets! So he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. Then the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands."
The teacher looked a little shocked. After clearing her throat, she asked what possible moral there could be to this story.
"Well," Johnny replied, "Don't fuck with Uncle Ted when he's been drinking."
There once was a blonde who was very tired of blonde jokes and insults directed at her intelligence.
So, she cut and dyed her hair, got a make-over, got in her car, and began driving around in the country.
Suddenly, she came to a herd of sheep in the road. She stopped her car and went over to the shepherd who was tending to them.
"If I can guess the exact number of sheep here, will you let me have one?" she asked.
The shepherd, thinking this was a pretty safe bet, agreed.
"You have 171 sheep," said the blonde in triumph.
Surprised, the shepherd told her to pick out a sheep of her choice.
She looked around for a while and finally found one that she really liked.
She picked it up and was petting it when the shepherd walked over to her and asked, "if I can guess your real hair color, will you give me my sheep back?"
The blonde thought it was only fair to let him try. "You're a blonde! Now give me back my dog."
A man's car stalled on a country road one morning. When the man got out to fix it, a cow came along and stopped beside him. "Your trouble is probably in the carburetor," said the cow.
Startled, the man jumped back and ran down the road until he met a farmer. The amazed man told the farmer his story.
"Was it a large red cow with a brown spot over the right eye?" asked the farmer. "Yes, yes," the man replied.
"Oh! I wouldn't listen to Bessie," said the farmer. "She doesn't know a thing about cars."
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A man in the grocery store notices a woman with a three-year-old girl in her cart. As they pass the cookie section, the little girl screams for cookies. The mother says, "Now Missy, we only have a few more aisles to go -- don't throw a fit. It won't be long."
In the candy aisle, the little girl whines for candy. The mother says, "There, there, Missy, don't cry. Two more aisles, and we'll be checking out."
When they get to the checkout stand, the little girl howls for the gum. The mother says, reassuringly, "Missy, we'll be done in five minutes, and then you can go home and have a bottle and a nice snooze."
In the parking lot, the man stops the woman to compliment her. "I couldn't help noticing how patient you were with little Missy," he says.
The mother sighs, "Oh, no -- my little girl's name is Francine. I'm Missy."
Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime -- Little Johnny always takes the nickel.
One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor man takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel's bigger?"
Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!
10. This is your captain speaking and I don't feel that life is worth living anymore.
9. We're cruising at an altitude of... ah, hell, I don't know.
8. Could somebody come up here and tell me what this button does?
7. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Just kidding.
6. Would a flight attendant bring me a martini? And keep 'em coming!
5. This is...uh...this is...uh...your...hmm. I seem to have lost my memory.
4. Passengers on the left side of the plane -- does that engine sound funny to you?
3. Welcome aboard flight 109 -- you bunch of jerks!
2. Good God, Steve! We're going to crash! Oops -- is this intercom on?
1. We'll be on the ground in 10 minutes. One way or another.
There was a perfect man and a perfect woman. They met each other at a perfect party. They dated for two perfect years. They had the perfect wedding and the perfect honeymoon. They had two perfect children.
One day the perfect man and the perfect woman were driving in there perfect car, they saw Santa Claus at the side of the road, being the perfect people they were they picked him up, because they didn't want to make their perfect children (who were at home with their perfect babysitter) mad because it was close to Chritmas.
Well as the perfect man and the perfect woman were driving with Santa Claus, somehow they got into an accident. Two people died and 1 lived.
Who died and who lived?
The perfect woman because the perfect man and Santa Claus aren't real.
Q: Who has the right of way any time?
A: The car with a gun rack and a bumper sticker that reads "Guns don't kill people, I do."
I went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind of film, you know the type. In the sad part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dog laughed its head off. This happened all the way through the film. After the film had ended, I decided to go and speak to the man.
"That's the most amazing thing I've seen," I said. "That dog really seemed to enjoy the film."
The man turned to me and said, "Yeah, it is. He hated the book."
This guy was really sleepy and needed a place to stay for the night. So he sees this barn up the road and asks the guy if he can stay in his barn for the night.
"Sure," says the farmer, "as long as you promise not to stick your winky into the three holes." The man promises, and the farmer leaves him there. Of course, he can't resist, and the farmer is woken up in the middle of the night by screams coming from the barn. The farmer goes down and finds the guy stuck in the third hole.
"What are in these holes?" the guy screams.
"Well," says the farmer, "one of them's my daughter, one's my cow, and one of them's an automatic milking machine that doesn't stop until it gets five gallons."
There were three men at a bar. One man got drunk and started a fight with the other two men. The police came and took the drunk guy to jail. The next day the man went before the judge. The judge asked the man, “Where do you work?”
The man said, “Here and there.”
The judge asked the man, “What do you do for a living?”
The man said, “This and that.”
The judge then said, “Take him away.”
The man said, “Wait, judge when will I get out?”
The judge said to the man, “Sooner or later.”
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Q: How many lead guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. The guitarist holds the bulb, and the world revolves around him.
# Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream, "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes and then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
# When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the darned thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, and repeat the process for a good half hour.
# Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.
# Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to a different screen than the one it's set up with.
# Write a program that plays the "Pokemon" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over and over again.
# Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.
# Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files.
# Use AIM to make passes at people you don't know.
# Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.
# Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say, "Just in case..." mysteriously.
# Type on VAX for awhile. Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes about everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue typing.
# Enter the lab, undress, and start staring at other people as if they're crazy while typing.
# Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before starting.
# Ask around for a spare zip disk. Offer $1. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your fly and say, "Oops. Forgot."
# Every time you press return and there is processing time required, pray, "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.
# "Disk fight!"
# Start making out with the person at the terminal next to you, whether you know them or not.
# Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with
the straw.
# If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Thong Song" whenever there is processing time required.
# Draw a picture of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper and tape it to your monitor. Try to seduce it. Act like it hates you and then complain loudly that women (men) are worthless.
# Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge in the disk drive. When it doesn't work, get the supervisor.
# When you start up a PC, ask loudly where the smiling Apple face is.
# Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when it's all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was a line or two.
# Sit and stare at the screen, chomping on your nails. After doing this for a while, spit them out at the feet of the person next to you.
# Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the person next to you. Repeat procedure, making sure you never provoke the person enough to let them blow up, as this releases tension, and it is far more effective to let them linger.
# If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split ends, cut them, and deposit them on your neighbor's keyboard as you leave.
# Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British royal family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
# Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them on top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic.
# Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.
# Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in a great flood" and continue working.
# Bring some dry ice and make it look like the computer is smoking.
# Assign a musical note to every key (ex. the delete key is A flat). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.
# Attempt to eat your computer mouse.
# Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?" unplugging the keyboard, and taking it.
# Bring in a bunch of magnets and have a ball.
# When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways are best.
# Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.
# Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you see that your neighbor is noticing. Then look at your neighbor's keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word. While you do this, ask: "Does your delete key work?" Shake your head, and resume hitting the space bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this until you've deleted about a page of your neighbor's document. Then, suddenly exclaim: "Well, whaddya know? I've been hitting the space bar this whole time. No wonder it wasn't deleting! Ha!" Print out your document and leave.
# Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab monitor and complain that your computer ate your disk. (For special effects, put some glue on or around the disk drive. Claim that the computer is drooling.)
# Stare at your neighbor's screen, look really puzzled, burst out laughing and say "You did that?" loudly. Keep laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go.
# Point at the screen. Chant in a made-up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, then leap back and yell, "COVEEEEERRRRR!" Peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say "Oh, good. It worked this time," and calmly start to type again.
# Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.
# See who's online. Send a total stranger a talk request. Talk to them like you've known them all your lives. Hang up before they get a chance to figure out you're a total stranger.
# Bring a small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects. Pretend it's the computer and look really lost.
# Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work.
# Come into the computer lab wearing several extra-stinky species of flowers in your hair. Smile incessantly. Type a sentence, then laugh happily exclaim, "You're such a marvel!" and kiss the screen. Repeat this after every sentence. As your ecstasy mounts, also hug the keyboard. Finally, hug your neighbor, the computer assistant, and then walk out.
# Run into the computer lab, shout, "The Apocalypse is here!" then calmly sit down and begin to type.
# Quietly walk into the computer lab with a Black and Decker chainsaw, rev 'er up, and then walk up to the nearest person and say, "Give me that computer or you'll be feeding my pet crocodile for the next week."
# Two words: Tesla Coil.
-- In prison, you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell. At work, you spend most of your time in a 6' X 8' cubicle.
-- In prison, you get three meals a day. At work, you get 30 minutes for a meal you buy or bring yourself.
--In prison, you get time off for good behavior. At work, good behavior is rewarded with more work.
-- In prison, they allow your family and friends to visit. At work, even personal calls are disallowed.
-- In prison, all expenses are paid by taxpayers. At work, you are the taxpayer.
-- In prison, everyone knows when you drop the soap. At work, everyone knows when you drop the ball.
--In prison, you spend most of your time waiting to get out from behind bars. At work, you spend most of your time waiting to go into the bars.
--In prison, there are sadistic wardens. At work, there are managers.
-- In prison, you can get shivved. At work, you get shafted.
